Saturday, July 25, 2009

Bit by the Past

I've spent the day in tears. It's amazing what comes out of confrontation and the unwillingness to back down.
I'm beginning to understand the phrase punish the victim. It took me a long time to see myself as a victim in that situation. I'm afraid it's embarrassing to be taken advantage of and to have been used and abused. But what is worse is when you're then years later accused of bringing it on yourself. It took me years to realize what had happened to me, and let go of the guilt of the situation and accept that what happened to me happened. That I was groomed from a young age by someone waiting to pounce on me as soon as the opportunity presented itself.
But now, how dare I confront him? How dare I stir it up? How dare I speak my mind? It's in the past, and I am supposed to submit to being a victim of his the rest of my life. I'm supposed to be over it. Well, I am over it, what is your point?
I have not spent my life in limbo over this. I've moved on successfully, I think. But that doesn't mean I don't have the right to confront my abuser. I have that right, and gee, I'm sorry it makes YOU bystanders uncomfortable. It's really none of your business how I deal with this or when I bring it up.
How dare he leave a trail of victims and we are penalized for not keeping our silence?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Luckily, you can bite back! :)