Today is Yom Kippur. I am not Jewish but I like traditions, and I like days that are meaningful and I like shared experiences. I have had several crises of faith over the last several months. The more I go to church, the more hypocrisy and simpering bigotry I have found, which is why I didn't used to go to church. I want to be inspired, not shamed.
But I digress. I have never celebrated Yom Kippur before. I was raised by a Methodist and an Atheist and you know, Christians kind of ignore Jewish holidays. Kind of a shame if you ask me, especially to ignore a cool one like this one. I have decided to fast today. I'm not really doing it correctly because I'm not giving up water or beverages but I am abstaining from solid food for 25 hours. I started a little late because I didn't know I was going to be doing it, but I figure, God, if he exists, won't care. It isn't really about that anyway.
I'm not doing it for any religious reason. I think atonement is good for the soul in general. I am spending the day thinking of how to be a better person, accepting and acknowledging my past wrongs over the last year and thinking deeply about how I want to live my life is a good thing.
I looked up how to observe Yom Kippur and there are all kinds of rules, but Leviticus annoys me so I am taking the lesson in a pure sense and ignoring his misogynist ass. This guy thought it was a sin to mix fabrics and sit near menstruating women, he was clearly nuts. But this day of atonement is kind of a neat idea. A whole day to devote to thinking about oneself in a manner that allows for spiritual growth, for personal growth and for whatever else comes of the experience.
I decided to fast for the experience of it, but given the fact that I tend to have a bit of hypoglycemia, I decided that it was most unnecessary to give up water and tea, so that is all I have had since midnight.
I have taken up my time with many things, some of which involves making the other people in the house food. I thought this would be harder than it is, but much like anything you are abstaining from, it just becomes something I am not doing. Also, I have taken on the challenge of trying to eat on $4.50 a day for a week as part of a personal empathy challenge so I am spending about .75 on tea for the whole day.
The other thing is that I wanted to feel hunger. I haven't felt real hunger in a long time. I used to feel it all the time, it was a part of my life, this gnawing, pestering force in my life. I want to feel it spiritually and physically and overcome it like I used to. Also, this is something children have to feel every day, children living in poverty who aren't making a choice but are forced to live that way because that is what they were born into.
I'm fortunate not to be hungry all the time. Even when I was, it was mostly self imposed. And I kind of had a way out. So, this is the middle of the journey. I will see where the hollow feeling leaves me. Maybe I will have the opportunity to fill with other things.