Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Musings on a New Year 2014: Perspective

I welcome 2014. As someone with a silly ass fear of the number 13, I did not take many risks in 2013. I just tried to survive it. Silly, I know, but my life did not take any major leaps. I was just waiting it out like a bad storm. This year a new moon fell on January 1st, the first time that has happened in 19 years. Coincidentally, it was 19 years ago on New Years Eve, as Blueberry Hill was closing that an impulsive 20 something guy surprised me by taking me gently by the shoulders and planting a kiss on my lips in the new falling snow as I bid him goodnight. Nineteen years later, that guy is my husband and he kisses me on New Year's eve under the new moon as we arrive home together. On the way to attending a party, in the car, my husband says to me. "I'm really glad 2013 is over. It was a terrible year." "Really?" I said "Name three things." He thought for a minute and said "Well, my stupid car broke down like once a month, so I couldn't save any money." I nodded. He went on. "And we had to get the terrible news that our daughter has ADHD and dyslexia. Now we have to pay all that money to a really expensive school." I said "Now, hang on a minute..." I say, and prepare a really good answer for this... "This is not a matter of bad things happening. This is a matter of your perspective on things." "How do you mean?" He asks. "Think about it," I said. "We had been wandering around in the dark not knowing what was going on with Isabella and she was steady struggling with a terrible teacher in a school that totally misdiagnosed her. By the time we got her to a real doctor and found out what was really wrong with her- even though it punched us in the gut, it was really good news. We finally had answers! We finally knew definitively what was wrong and we had a solid approach on how to treat her. So, if you think about it, that was actually good news." "That's true." He said. "And as for that expensive school, I am happy to spend the money at a school where our daughter can get the education she needs. I'm grateful for that place every day. And you love it as much as I do. But most importantly, Isabella is happy there, and she is learning to work with her disability. We found a really great doctor and the medication she is on is actually working. How are these things bad?" John stops and thinks "You're right, you know? I guess those are good things." "Now, as for your car..." John said "just stop there, I'm feeling better. Quit while you're ahead." Happy New Year everyone. I hope your perspective stays optimistic and your struggles have purpose.

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