Well, it is hurry up and wait time in Los Angeles- we have filled out the forms and put her resumes on line and met with the agent and now we are waiting for the work permit. We are in survival mode, spending only the most necessary money, looking for bargains, cutting corners. Fretting over everyday items like toilet paper and salt. We are settled in and oriented. Marissa is almost lazy, she is on the computer and texting with her friends. She doesn't want to go out much. I want to be out every night!
Yesterday I took a long walk through my neighborhood. Across the highway is a really nice neighborhood, the houses have manicured lawns and some driveways are gated. I walked all the way up the hill and just admired the houses built into the side of a mountain. My thighs really hurt when I got to the top of the hill but it was good exercise on a lovely day. I know those houses were millions of dollars over there. As I was walking around, it occurred to me that I have mostly been able to go wherever I want in my life unhindered. I knew that as I walked around, likely no one would call the police because a woman was walking around looking at the houses. And I was looking.
Clearly, I had no ill intent, but I realized that my freedom is greater than some. I know that based on race, there are some people that would have been harassed doing what I was doing- walking around. It weighed a little on me. I guess if you want to case a place, send a white woman to walk around. No one thinks she could possibly be up to anything.
I can go so many places and no one even blinks and no alarms are raised. I am by looks harmless and honest.
Okay, I am in reality- honest and harmless- but you can't tell that by looking at me!
I love that my passage is open. It allows me great freedom. But I wish everyone had the same. Can we help ourselves that we make assumptions? I'm not talking about those instincts where our hairs on the backs of our necks raise up. I'm talking about- hey, a stranger is walking around my neighborhood- oh, it's just a girl. Are we by nature less suspicious about white women?
I'll just keep walking and see how it goes!