After walking out of Target Christmas week- and musing on the ridiculous amount of money my husband and I spent, he said something wonderful to alleviate the guilt.
"We used to blow this amount of money on stupid stuff when we first started dating- now it is on our house and our children."
And suddenly that perspective melted the guilt away.
I want to be out of debt pretty badly but more I want to spend money in the right way- and I realized it was the right way- even if it wasn't perfect.
We were investing it into our family and our house.
I'm pretty much in the same place I was before except now we own a house and I'm building towards a career and I am taking risks that are healthy and not harmful. I feel pretty good about what I'm doing instead of waking up and trying not to remember the stupid crap I did- or drowning away the misery in self defeating behavior.
I think I can still believe things happen for a reason.
And part of that is about that shining, tiny face on Christmas morning.